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  100. Ashton Kutcher

  Why is he on the list? Consider That '70s Show, Dude, Where's My Car?, Punk'd, The Butterfly Effect, a string of sapless rom-coms, and most recently, a poorly researched tweet decrying Joe Paterno's firing as "in poor taste." Is it not mindboggling that (allegedly) porking randoms while married to Demi Moore stands as the least shameful thing Ashton Kutcher is famous for?

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  99. Whitey Bulger

  We're not sure why it took so long for authorities to locate accused Boston crime boss and mass murderer Whitey Bulger. Not just because they clearly knew where he was, but because his ruddy Irish melon should have stuck out in Santa Monica as noticeably as a woman with real tits. Now that he's our problem again, though, the most unsexy thing about this fraudulent fucknut is his bogarting the news cycle like Charlie Sheen on free coke day with a fistful of fifties.

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  98. Tom Six

  Although exclusively wearing cowboy hats and lecturing on 24/7 video-surveillance methods (which he helped develop for Big Brother) are unsexy enough to get him on this list, Mr. Six clinched the deal when he wrote and directed The Human Centipede, a 90-minute film that redefines “ass-to-mouth.” The sequel is much worse, already banned in the UK, and the third installment will apparently make the first two "look like a Disney movie." Great! The films become all the more sinister when you consider that Six is a self-described "curryholic."

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  97. Deadmau5

  The American bastardization of electronic music was inevitable — a more obese, dumbed-down sound to suit our propensity for all things large and stupid. Unfortunately, this comes in the form of Deadmau5, whose stage costume looks like the hydrocephalic offspring of Mickey and Minnie if only she had abused dusters while in her third trimester. Listen, if you want to play four sold-out shows at one of our city's marquee venues, that's fine by us. But at least hire a cleanup crew to take care of the trail of glow sticks and ecstasy-induced vomit left in your wake.

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  96. Will Ferrell

  Will Ferrell was every high-school meathead's favorite icon, before he ran out of sports to make hilarious films about. Now even the meatiest of heads are now embarrassed to quote him out loud in front of other morons at bars throughout Back Bay. This could have all been avoided had Ferrell stepped up with a curling flick pegged to last year's Winter Olympics.

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  95. Perry Farrell

  With his swinger ascots, his homeopathic remedies, and his gratuitous shirtlessness, this guy currently embodies everything bad about Los Angeles. His cross-eyed perma-grin makes him look like Eli Roth's inbred uncle. His fondness for elbow-length gloves screams “snuff-porn lead.” And his implant-tastic trophy wife, Etty, isn't nearly as entertaining as Ice T's beloved Coco, though we're pretty sure Perry's in a pitch meeting somewhere trying to sell their love affair to someone. Also, Satellite Party sucked. Just stop, weird amphibian man. Please.

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  94. Tyler Perry

  We get it, “Tyler Perry Presents” means he’s a really important filmmaker. Or something like that. What we don't get is why people pay money to see his movies. A lot of people. Is it just us or are all Perry’s movies, like, a little bit racist? Also, let us be the first to say that men dressing up like old ladies for comedy peaked at Mrs. Doubtfire.

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  93. Jimmy Fallon

  Think about it — Late Night with Jimmy Fallon would be totally rad without Jimmy Fallon. The writing is sharp, the audience pieces are fun, and the muthafuckin' Roots are the house band. But then Fallon hops out, looking like a special-needs ventriloquist dummy, giggling over how hi-larious he is. If only anyone else found Jimmy as funny as he finds himself . . .

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  92. Michael Bay

  Imagine if right now there were an EXPLOSION!!! and then all of these words were replaced by special effects, like if you had synesthesia, and then instead of making any point or having a cohesive narrative, you just stared at a hot girl in between gun fights. Also, Hasbro robots from space. That's pretty much what Michael Bay is doing to American cinema, while raking in more money than any man who lives with just two dogs needs. Even Uwe Boll wants to fight him, and he's the worst director of all time!

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  91. Sam Mullet

  The introduction of the phrase "renegade Amish group" into the media vocabulary has got to be some kind of high-water mark of human ridiculousness. Inauspiciously named 66-year-old Sam Mullet and his cadre of self-styled vigilantes have terrorized other Ohio Amish enclaves over the past several months, performing night raids on compounds, vindictively ridding the male inhabitants of their facial hair. Upon marriage, Amish men enter into an infinite No-Shave November of sorts. Those uber-whiskers are sacred. Not cool, Mullet.

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• 100-91
• 90-81
• 80-71
• 70-61
• 60-51
• 50-41
• 40-31
• 30-21
• 20-11
• 10-01

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