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The 100 Unsexiest Men of the Year 2009

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100. Robert Pattinson

HACKULA

Shhh, don’t Twilight star Robert Pattinson, but the  reportedly smelly ,  hygiene-challenged  actor is not actually a vampire. Of course,... READ MORE

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99. Dan Deacon

TWISTED HIPSTER

Rotundness, oversize glasses, and hair in the wrong places may get you cred in some circles. But anyone who’s met this amusing musical experimentalist... READ MORE

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98. Patton Oswalt

GIN-AND-TONIC THE HEDGEHOG

Funny guy. And laudably self-deprecating about his gnome-ish stature and ever-mutating paunch. But would it be unsporting to wonder if this schlub has partaken... READ MORE

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97. Toby Young

BRIT TWIT

It’s easy to make this list when you sit next to the sexiest being on this green Earth: Top Chef hostess Padma... READ MORE

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96. Sean Delonas

POST RACIAL

You tell us which is worse: this New York Post editorial cartoonist caricaturing America’s first African-American president as a monkey, or failing... READ MORE

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95. Marko Jaric

MODEL F#%KER

Maybe Victoria’s Secret bombshells have a thing for goofy Serb point guards with eyes that are way closer to each other than they oughta... READ MORE

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94. House Republicans John Boehner & Eric Cantor

SCUM AND SCUMMIER

You would think a guy with ears as big as Cantor’s would see the irony in crusading against earmarks. And you’d also think that... READ MORE

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93. Russell Brand

CANNED HAM

He got booted from his BBC radio gig for obscenity, but as far as we’re concerned, his potty mouth is his least... READ MORE

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92. Rick Ross

INSPECTOR BLECCH

The boss of the South likes to slang rhymes about slinging rock, but  according to the Smoking Gun , the only hard time he... READ MORE

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91. George W. Bush

BRAIN-DEAD PREZ

What, did you think we were done ripping the Neanderthal who set the country back five decades in just eight years, just because he’s... READ MORE

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