Explore the Phoenix
  • 10. The Pope

    Vati-Sin City

    It’s not the outfit— for an 82-year-old German guy, he looks good in a dress. It’s not his opposition to gay marriage — although it is ironic that... READ MORE

    Vote!  Sexy  Unsexy
  • 9. Mark Sanford

    Don’t Cry For Him, Argentina

    It’s like we’ve been telling you: Republicans have cheated and screwed the American people so royally these past eight years, they have to leave the country to get... READ MORE

    Vote!  Sexy  Unsexy
  • 8. Jay Leno

    Chin-dian Giver

    REASON(S) HE MADE OUR LIST Lantern-jawed, unfunny late-night funnyman reneged on his agreement to leave his 11:35 TV gig peaceably, cockblocking Conan O’Brien. LOOKS... READ MORE

    Vote!  Sexy  Unsexy
  • 7. Glenn Beck

    Fascist and Furious

    Three parts hate and two parts crazybrains makes for a satanically entertaining and completely bat-shit-insane hour of television. LOOKS LIKE A goose-stepping Fozzy Bear ... READ MORE

    Vote!  Sexy  Unsexy
  • 6. Jesse James

    Heil on Wheels

    Chopper customizer cheated on America’s sweetheart Sandra Bullock in a reported nearly year-long affair with an alleged white supremacist, foot-fetishist Suicide Girl–type stripper named Bombshell who has posed semi-nude... READ MORE

    Vote!  Sexy  Unsexy
  • 5. John Mayer

    Generic Clapton

    We weren’t surprised to hear that Mayer is a chronic masturbator. (Um, have you seen him play guitar?) But this white blues pretender also told ... READ MORE

    Vote!  Sexy  Unsexy
  • 4. Kevin Smith

    Frequent Fryer

    We know the airlines charged him for an extra seat, but we’re pretty sure it wasn’t just because he’s too fat. It’s also because no one wants to... READ MORE

    Vote!  Sexy  Unsexy
  • 3. John Edwards

    Philanderer in Chief

    Brought comfort to his cancer-ridden wife by impregnating a campaign “aide,” then made a married pal take the fall for the love child. Thankfully, and tellingly, nobody’s even... READ MORE

    Vote!  Sexy  Unsexy
  • 2. Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino

    Jean-Claude von Dutch

    This Dopey Dwarf–faced Jersey Shore star — we use the term “star” loosely — and self-described guido could be the world’s most inept ladies’ man. Armed... READ MORE

    Vote!  Sexy  Unsexy
  • 1. Tiger Woods

    Happy Drillmore

    Nike’s robotically perfect pitchman took that whole “Just Do It” slogan a smidge too literally— with virtually any hooker, cocktail waitress, golf groupie, substitute teacher, den mother, and... READ MORE

    Vote!  Sexy  Unsexy
 
next
Latest Results
See all results
ADVERTISEMENT

Worst of Breed

Unsexiest Archives

See who made the previous Unsexiest lists . . .
ADVERTISEMENT

Latest Comments on the Phoenix