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1. Tiger Woods

Happy Drillmore

REASON(S) HE’S ON THE LIST Nike’s robotically perfect pitchman took that whole “Just Do It” slogan a smidge too literally— with virtually any hooker, cocktail waitress, golf groupie, substitute teacher, den mother, and rodeo clown within a chip shot of his 5-iron. Making matters worse, to repair his nuked image, he hired evil former Bush White House press secretary Ari Fleischer as his public-relations caddy.

LOOKS LIKE Mr. Always Has His Hat On could use some Rogaine

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