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  • 70. Gucci Mane

    We understand that thuggery goes a long way toward perceived toughness in the world of hip-hop. But pushing a woman out of a moving car simply because she refused your surly sexual advances? Gucci Mane, please. If your ice-cream face tat was an attempt at copping a reduced prison sentence via a plea for insanity, you sold us. Unfortunately the judge didn't see it that way, granting a six-month sentence. If there was a mandatory sentence for douchebaggery, though, we’re sure Gooch would be in for life.
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  • 69. Jim Bob Duggar

    For the love of Joshua, Jana, John-David, Jill, Jessa, Jinger, Joseph, Josiah, Joy-Anna, Jedidiah, Jeremiah, Jason, James, Justin, Jackson, Johannah, Jennifer, Jordyn-Grace, and Josie! COME ON, Jim Bob, your jumbo family probably puts on a jive-worthy jam session, but this little jaunt down baby-making lane is more than a little jarring. Jury's in: just keep your junk in your jeans from now on.
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  • 68. Newt Gingrich

    Despite his weaselly voice, Cabbage Patch Kid looks, and history of personal and political loathesomeness, this presidential candidate is occasionally drowned out in the vast ocean of even more appalling Republican higher-office hopefuls. Also, his voice was not long ago drowned out by a dozen or so protesters from the Occupy Boston women's caucus, who mic-checked his pale ass into silence at Harvard, and inspired Newt to lash out at dirty, jobless Occupiers on the national debate stage the next evening.
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  • 67. Jerry Holkins and Mike Krahulik

    Heard the age-old tale of the high school nerd who grows up to find more fame and success than any of his "popular" bullies ever did . . . and then turns around and becomes a bully himself, at last? Such was the fate of Jerry Holkins and Mike Krahulik, the minds behind Penny Arcade, the most successful video-game-themed comic on the Web. God forbid a couple of rape victims be offended by one rape joke in one comic that they made. Rather than ignore the complaints or (gasp) apologize, Krahulik and Holkins publicly mocked complainers for the next year. Because, really, how dare those rape victims criticize the great Penny Arcade? That's just asking for it!
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  • 66. Rex Ryan

    There's nothing sexier than success, but unfortunately for the loudmouthed New York Jets coach, that's been hard to come by this season. The only thing less sexy that watching Sexy Rexy putting his foot in his mouth — the league fined him $75,000 for telling a heckling fan to "go fuck yourself”— is watching him put actual feet in his mouth, like in the home videos that surfaced last year (but will haunt us forever). If that's not vomit-inducing enough, how about this quote on the gastrically altered coach's post-Thanksgiving meal. "The lap band was in trouble," he said. "It got stretched out. I was stretching that bad boy out." Yikes.
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  • 65. Kris Humphries

    So NBA player Humphries's marriage to his big-assed, golden-shower princess wasn't what he thought it would be — imagine that. He probably spent more time on the Nets bench last season than he did in marital bliss. Now that the dollar signs have faded away, there's no doubt Humphries got had — just look at that permanent "durrrr" face. But if we were choosing a fake husband, we definitely wouldn't go with this doofus.
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  • 64. Michael Moore

    Fat jokes are cheap shots. So let's instead focus on how Moore's weedy beard grows like dog-pissed crabgrass. Or how the once-relevent filmmaker has become so insufferably self-righteous, even his neck ran away. Or that once upon a time, when Michael Moore lent himself to a cause, his voice broadened the scope of the discussion — but now, when he opens his mouth, the view just looks like a colonoscopy.
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  • 63. Harvey Levin

    As writers at one of America’s last bastions of investigative reporting, we at Phoenix almost admire TMZ, the brainless child of lawyer opportunist Harvey Levin. And when we say “admire,” we mean “cringe at.” This People's Court leftover, in his late-90s ribbed Gap tees and spray-tan, will forever be the joke of journalists everywhere — no matter how many Chris Brown porn conspiracies he vets on that dry-erase board like he's Jim Garrison impugning the Zapruder film.
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  • 62. Furniture Guys: Bob, Bernie, Jordan

    If ever there were three guys who would have zero friends if they didn't give Red Sox tickets away, it's regional furniture moguls Bernie Rubin, Bob Kaufman, and Eliot Tatelman — all of whom make Ernie Boch Jr. look cool. We hate these guys not just because they all vaguely resemble George Costanza, but because it's impossible to buy a new couch in New England without benefiting some shameless self-promoting dickhead with a hard-on for pro athletes.
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  • 61. Adam Sandler

    Remember when Adam Sandler was young and funny . . or, at least, young? Or when he matured in 2002 and made Punch Drunk Love? Well, this holiday season, Sandler brought us Jack and Jill, where he comically plays both the brother and sister characters! To reiterate: Adam Sandler . . . in drag . . . as a middle-aged . . . single . . . overweight . . . Jewish woman! Is that not the fountain of comedy gold from which the humor gods truly must sup? Seriously, how does he keep getting people to go to these terrible movies? Zohan? Grown Ups? It's like he signed a blood contract with some kind of comedy Mephistopheles, a demon who insists that the definition of funny is people in fat suits.
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