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  • 60. Piers Morgan

    This perpetual smarm peddler’s CNN gabfest is a nightly "who's who" in the world of "why bother?" Morgan is milquetoast even by his network’s standards; in less than a year on the air, he accomplished the impossible and made us nostalgic for the nuance of Larry King. If Morgan and Wolf Blitzer ever interviewed each other, television as we know it would grind to a halt.
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  • 59. Kelsey Grammer

    We don't really blame him for divorcing his third wife (one of those Real House-Harpies of Beverly Hills). Lady has had enough injections in her face to give the entire state of Rhode Island botulism. No, we're more put off by the Olympic speed with which Grammer decided to put a ring on his fourth wife (a 29-year-old former flight attendant). Frasier would never behave like that. It's unseemly.
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  • 58. Hosni Mubarak

    Torture, corruption, refusal to allow local elections, jailing journalists for insulting him, killing protestors — Egypt's former autocrat has been accused of it all. What a dick. After 30 years of Mubarak's power-mad rule and six unsuccessful assassination attempts, the octogenarian finally stepped down early this year after 18 days of mass unrest — then showed up to his own trial in a hospital bed. Not sexy! Nice, though, to see that Robert Goulet's hairdresser has found work.
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  • 57. Rob Kardashian

    We seriously considered adding Khloe to this year's list, but in the end went with the "safe choice," her younger brother Rob Kardashian. He recently cha-cha-cha-ed his way onto our Unsexy radar on the cheese fest Dancing with the Stars, as anyone appearing on that show is automatically un-doable. (Even you, Tom Bergeron!) Only grandmas find that stuff charming. The rest of us think you're a fucking loser.
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  • 56. Lars Von Trier

    Poor Lars Von Trier. One bad joke at the Cannes Film Festival about sympathizing with Hitler, and the art-house filmmaker is treated like the Dutch Tracy Morgan or worse. Hilarious as it was to see Willem Dafoe ejaculate blood in Antichrist, maybe Lars ought to leave the comedy to the professionals. Remember Bill Cosby's great bit about ejaculating blood? So relatable. Besides, Von Trier is nothing like Hitler, because Hitler's speeches at least made somebody happy.
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  • 55. Michael Sanguinetti

    Toronto police officer Michael Sanguinetti offered rapists the ultimate cop-out when he told a group of college students not to dress like "sluts" or else they deserved what was coming. Sanguinetti later apologized and was disciplined, unlike most rapists whose actions he justified, but not before his victim-blaming inspired legions of pissed-off women to organize the global Slutwalk movement. Slutwalk marches offer a pervasive rape culture a reminder that clothes of any fashion do not equal consent.
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  • 54. Jeffrey Eugenides

    To promote The Marriage Plot, the latest Jeffrey Eugenides novel to deliver an unsatisfactory ending, the publisher Farrar, Strauss and Giroux paid for an oversize Times Square billboard in which a Godzilla-size, black-and-white Eugenides appeared to be bursting forth from a mustard background. While it's great to see an author get forced down our throats as thoroughly as a Kardashian, Eugenides is balding, paunchy, and wearing a black leather vest that would not be out of place on an aspiring LARPer.
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  • 53. Andrew Breitbart

    Breitbart is notorious for a number of noble, classy slams — like doctoring video clips that forced Department of Agriculture director Shirley Sherrod clean out of office. But this year the coward of all cowards stooped lower than ever, attempting to expose another liberal media conspiracy that never was, by publishing private e-mail correspondence between reporters who were actually covering — not just making things up about — Occupy Wall Street.
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  • 52. Chris Christie

    Joking about Chris Christie being fat isn't just easy, it's fun. But to say that the Republican New Jersey governor is so large his ass has two exits on the Garden State Parkway misses the fat forest for the fat trees. Christie is more than fat; he's mean. Just ask the constituents he's bullied at town halls. Christie is also a diehard fan of the music of Bruce Springsteen, though given his cuts to Jersey's programs for the poor, he probably isn't familiar with the Boss's lyrics.
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  • 51. Jon Cryer

    We sometimes go to the gym around 9 pm, which is how we sometimes end up watching Two and a Half Men with the sound off. And with the sound off, and no laugh track to lighten the mood, it's clear that Jon Cryer is making, shall we say, a cry for help with every shot he's in. The face he turns to the camera doesn't depict comical dismay — it says, "PLEASE KILL ME." Since we can't help but still think of him as Ducky, we blame this all on Andie having gone to prom with that rich douchebag.
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