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  • 50. Ronnie Ortiz-Magro

    Every time this greased-up slab of man meat gets upset, he takes out his feelings on somebody's bed. What the eff is that about, Brosef? While all the Jersey Shore dudes could arguably find a home on this list, watching Ron try to dismantle Sammi's bed in a fit of ’roid rage as she clung to the headboard like a overly tanned spider monkey wasn't funny, just disturbing.
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  • 49. El Pres

    Anytime we need a reminder that this is in fact still a bro's world, we just hop on over to Barstool Sports. At Barstool, the local Internet's number-one source for copy-pasted news stories and videos of people hurting themselves, every woman is a slut offered up by El Pres (a/k/a Dave Portnoy) for the discerning boner critiques of the buffalo-wing-and-hand-lotion-fisted horde of devoted Stoolies. And this year, Portnoy managed to outdo himself in the ickiness department with one big scoop: posting pictures of Tom Brady's naked son and his (apparently) impressive baby dick, under the caption "Check Out the Howitzer on Brady's Kid" — a stunning move douchey enough to give away the answer to one of the site's recurring features, "Guess That Ass." Portnoy, the ass is you.
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  • 48. Brett Ratner

    Okay, so the prize for most batshit-crazy soundbites this year might go to Chuck Sheen, but we have to give this pudgy director credit where it's due. Ratner qualified when he told an interviewer that "rehearsal is for fags." Homophobia aside, what does that even mean? Don't get it, don't like it. Neither did the Academy, who forced Ratner into quitting his upcoming Oscar-producing gig. Ratner also claimed to have banged Olivia Munn (he later apologized and admitted it wasn’t true) and that he has "huge balls." Blech.
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  • 47. Ed Schultz

    To be any good at all, a liberal pundit must possess at least one positive quality, aside from an ability to broadcast opinions the audience is predisposed to agree with. For example, Jon Stewart is funny. Keith Olbermann is eloquent. Rachel Maddow is funny, eloquent, smart, hot . . . and so much more. Meanwhile, Ed Schultz is just loud.
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  • 46. Bruno Mars

    The Michael-Jackson-esque vocal tics, the Zamfir-tastic atmospherics, the saccharine lyrics: it’s a complete package. Every tune Mr. Mars "writes" sounds like he's selling a cell-phone plan — or castration services. Besides, what sort of soulless cheeseball would try to pull off a pompadour without pomade? The same one who would turn a Jersey Shore term for ugly chicks into a mega-hit love-song title. Bet he waxes his balls.
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  • 45. Tommy Wiseau

    If the majority of your movie takes place on a roof, why did you call it The Room? That's only one of the many questions we have for the director of what's come to be known as one of the worst movies ever made. Other questions: where are you actually from? (Despite a vague Eastern European accent Wiseau claims to hail from New Orleans.) Where did you get your cash? (He blew $6 million of his own money on a film that apparently made less than two grand in its initial run.) And most important: how can you keep claiming you intended to make a "black comedy" when it's clear you’re serious as a heart attack about this piece of crap?
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  • 44. Jeff Bridges

    Jeff Bridges stopped being sexy in Crazy Heart, right around the scene where he peed in that can. In True Grit, we got the sense that Bridges is on the fast track to Robin Williamsburg, all scenery chewing and transparent gravitas. And that album! Since when is it fun to listen to the wealthy son of a Hollywood dynasty play NPR-friendly country? Oh yeah, when it's coming out of the speakers of your Volvo wagon, that's when.
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  • 43. Marcus Bachmann

    Innuendo aside, if Marcus Bachmann really is in the closet, it must be a walk-in. Look at this guy: even his jowls look gay. The husband of Republican congresswoman Michele Bachmann, Dr. Marcus promotes "gay conversion" therapy at his Doth Protest Too Much Clinic in Minnesota. Forget praying the gay away, let's all just thank God that his wife is as loony as he is flaming, otherwise, she'd be a contender for the GOP presidential nomination. Oh, wait . . .
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  • 42. R. Kelly

    It seemed recently that R. Kelly had adapted a foolproof PR strategy: keeping his mouth closed unless it's to belt his lush harmonies. That lasted until his announcement that his autobiography, Soula Coaster: The Diary of Me, is something that actually exists. Admittedly a righteous title, but if we wanted to read a tell-all tale of golden showers and midget fetishization, there are undoubtedly a number of conservative congressmen with memoirs in the can.
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  • 41. Jonah Hill

    Poor Jonah Hill. As much as America loves a "fatty does good" story, no one is digging his new look. Hill shed roughly a Michael Cera in poundage, yet he will have no "Look at me now!" People magazine cover, no Jenny Craig for Men endorsement, no naïve starlet on his arm . . . and probably no acting roles. Our advice to Hill is to get used to voicing cartoon characters. But let's be real, that Allen Gregory mess will be canceled in a hot minute.
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