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30. Anthony Bologna
A big greasy plate of peppered bacon with a side order of fascism. Since September, cops have pulled brutality hi-jinx on Occupy protesters that make this NYPD oinker's wanton pepper-spray spree look negligible by comparison. But we're reminded of something Bart Simpson said about the first Friday the 13th movie — perhaps its gore seems tame by today's standards, but you've always got to give credit to the original. -
29. John Henry
The 2011 blunders were countless for Red Sox owner John Henry. A momentous September skid was lowlighted by his confounding decision to reward his employees for their ineptitude, buying each of them a $300 pair of headphones and inviting them to party on his yacht. Then there were the nasty rumors regarding Terry Francona and prescription meds leaked from within his organization, with limited damage control to refute them. And that's merely scratching the spineless surface. Not a coincidence that he resembles Darth Sidious. -
28. Sonny Moore (a/k/a Skrillex)
With a recent Spin cover crowning him king of "The New Rave Generation" and dozens of summer-festival headlining slots, Skrillex is undeniably riding high. But when you appear on that cover voguing in fluorescent fingernail polish and looking like the aborted fetus of Michael Jackson's corpse? And your target demographic is the pimply faced types who carve your name in their arms like you're the second coming of Dio? Please do everyone a favor and go the fuck away. -
27. Rick Perry
It's a tricky thing to write about what makes Rick Perry unsexy, because the reasons will already be out of date by the time you're reading this. Whether he’s trying to give every girl in Texas an HPV shot, or saying that his state should secede from the Union, Rick Perry has an opinion to upset everybody — when he can remember any of them. There's nothing less sexy than watching a handsome man with a full head of hair degenerate into a babbling lunatic at a debate. Maybe he should drink more before his speeches. -
26. Gary Shirley
We're of the opinion that a dude this repulsive has no business procreating. The dead-eyed deadbeat dad reportedly dropped $5000 of his Teen Mom earnings (maybe that show should also be declared illegal) on a recent 11-hour bender at a Miami strip club, according to tmz.com. We're pretty sure that money could be better spent on stuff like, say, diapers for his kid, but, hey, what do we know — we never knocked up our 16-year-old girlfriend with our goon-seed in the back of a double wide. -
25. Stanley Tucci
Though Stanley Tucci sometimes appears in decent films, we’re not sure he deserves to. He played the same sage, aging homosexual in both The Devil Wears Prada and Burlesque — isn't that cheating? Worse still was his turn as Emma Stone's hip dad in Easy A and Julia Child's tiny, hairy husband in Julie and Julia. He's always rolling his saucer eyes in his head like a Precious Moments figurine pleading for mercy or flailing his arms anxiously like he's spent the last 30 years locked in a room with a pile of Woody Allen VHS tapes. -
24. James and Rupert Murdoch
While he's not as hideous to look at as his father Rupert — and could, perhaps, even be considered cute in a cartoonish sort of way — James Murdoch has emerged as the new face of media scum incarnate. As his family empire unravels at the will of public outrage and inevitable karmic payback, it's important to remember the most hilarious part of the whole fiasco: that the Murdochs père et fils are even less likeable than the celeb riffraff whose phones were tapped and lives were trampled. -
23. Lou Reed
It's possible to turn the other cheek to Lou Reed's past indiscretions — Metal Machine Music, being a mean-spirited ass, etc. But his recent collaborative album with the meatheady blowhards of Metallica, Lulu, is just unforgivable. Beyond its surplus of songs about being "THE TABLE!" (one is one too many, it turns out), the album is outright sad. This is Mr. Reed's thoroughly unsexy spiral into senility, set to a soundtrack of bad thrash metal. -
22. Guy Fieri
Not sure anyone was surprised this guy turned out to be a total knob. The spiky-haired Food Network star has faced a mess of leaked tidbits this year, and each one get better (or worse) than the last. The worst of it stems from a piece in Minneapolis’s City Pages, accusing Fieri of harassing women (“Anytime any woman mentioned 'cream,' Guy went into a sexual riff,” the paper quoted a former producer as saying), being “weirded out” by gay people, and saying that Jews are cheap. Fieri denied it all. That’s okay; none of that is why he’s on this list. We really just hate his shitty bowling shirts. -
21. NKOTBSB
Brian Littrell looks like he's always smelling a fart. Nick Carter has all the genuine swagger of an Axe Body Spray commercial. A. J. McLean is a dead ringer for your local coke dealer. Howie Dorough should be tending bar in the Financial District. Jon Knight seems embarrassed. Jordan Knight needs a slap. Danny Wood, poor homely guy, is a one-man Planet of the Apes. Joey McIntyre and Donnie Wahlberg, WTF? Homeless hookers need money less than this.
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